losthunter | Thorn in the Garden of Life

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Thorn in the Garden of Life

Hunter paced his apartment, his phone in one hand, and a list of phone numbers in his other hand. He just got off the phone with Marcus, one of the six other people who had been given a gift by Kendra. And had learned that Marcus had been attacked by Austin.

Luckily, Marcus was able to get away, without any major side effects.

But Hunter was now worried about the others. And so he was making calls to everyone else who he had talked to, and warned them about Austin so they could stay safe.

And he knew it was time to face Austin again. But even though he felt like it was an emergency, Hunter knew that it would be better to make sure someone else came with him. He also knew exactly who he wanted to have by his side.

Jim. Austin attacked another person. I feel like I need to deal with this. Are you available to come with me?

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Hunter frowns. No wonder Jim had spoken so angrily about Starfleet in those memories. They were supposed to be there for those civilians. And instead innocent men, women and children were killed.

"Fuck..." Hunter can't express how upset he feels. And he wasn't even there.

And knowing more about how Jim survived, just him and Tom alone as children, he can understand those food issues. He silently promises never to misuse food, or lie about food, around Jim ever again.

"Why the fuck does Starfleet want this all classified?"

Jim does look up now, but there's very little anger in his expression. It's unease, bordering on fear. "The events themselves aren't. Our identities are."

That won't make sense, he knows. But he has to provide the context. "The man who seized power, who's responsible for four thousand deaths... he's still out there somewhere. There were only nine eyewitnesses who survived the massacre. If Kodos is ever found and captured... they don't want us dead before we can testify. It's witness protection."

Edited 2017-08-25 01:01 (UTC)

"What about those who carried out the acts of the massacre?" The history of Hunter's earth have had some of their own massacres. And yes, usually there was one person in power. But multiple people following the rules of the one in power.

"Dead," Jim answers, short and to the point. "Or in hiding. Some of them killed themselves. Some got in a shootout when the resupply ship finally showed up. Maybe Kodos killed some himself, so they couldn't identify him. There might be some who pretended to just be colonists who survived. We'd never know."

Hunter curls his hands into themselves, forming fists. He hates that Jim had to experience the massacre. And he hates that Jim still has to hide, because Kodos is still out there.

"When you attacked me... was that attack linked to one of your memories of that part of your life?"

Jim's had so many flashbacks over the last day or so, he's not sure. "Which time? Did I... say anything?"

"No. You didn't say anything."

"It was after the memory of Tommy. It sounded like you two were surviving in a tough situation. And then, when Hermione asked you to remove your weapons, and you went to grab your knife... you spaced out. When I tried to stop you from leaving the apartment, you swung out and almost cut me."

Oh. The knife incident. It still freaks Jim out a bit to remember that he very nearly killed Hunter because of this stupid curse. "Yeah... that was Tarsus."

Of fucking course it was. And he's not sure how to explain. "I was scavenging supplies... the guy who owned the house came home early."

Hunter doesn't have to ask what happened, since he has an educated guess. He is quiet for a moment.

He also can guess that Jim feels a lot of guilt about that moment in his life. Even though it was a survival-based situation.

And this seems like a good time to maybe shift the focus a little. Hunter decides to share a dark moment in his own life. "It is never easy to have to hurt, or kill someone because of a survival-situation. I have been there. A man lost his life because of my actions."

"I'm sorry you went through all of that."

Jim's killed people since Tarsus, in legitimate combat situations. It's not quite the same as a teenage boy with no combat experience being forced to kill so he could survive.

It isn't quite a comfort to know that this is something they share. Part of him wishes that Hunter didn't know what it's like. No one deserves that.

But at least he doesn't have to say any more about it.

"I am too."

"Hey... we were able to talk about it, and no more flashbacks." Hunter mentioned. He hated seeing what the curse did to Jim.

"Do you need some time to yourself? I can call Hermione, and get the protective spells removed so you can leave."

"Yeah, we did." Jim's not sure how he feels about it. There's so much more to what happened, but they've both been dealing with his shitty past for the past day or so, seemingly nonstop.

One thing's for sure, he doesn't want to be by himself just yet. "No. I mean... I don't think I want to be alone tonight." There's his mom, waiting at home, but... how can he even begin explaining this to her? Would he even want to?

Hunter's eyes soften a little when Jim says he doesn't want to be alone tonight. The timer dings, so he takes a moment to take the casserole out of the stove, so it won't burn. It can use a few moments to cool.

"Then stay tonight. You will be able to have a real bath, or shower, since you don't need to wear the jacket anymore. And I will still get Hermione to remove her spells, so we can get your knife and phaser back."

"And..." Hunter shrugs his shoulders. "I know I would feel better just being to hold you tonight."

"I don't think I'm going to sleep well," Jim admits, figuring it's fair warning. He can't imagine either of them is going to be completely settled tonight. But at least it's normal nightmares, instead of the curse.

"I still want to provide you that security. That comfort." Hunter understands more about why Jim has the nightmares every night. He can only hope that maybe some day, just by giving Jim love and support, that the nightmares might fade some day.

"I appreciate that." Jim can be honest in his response, and though he wouldn't reach out before, he does now, hugging Hunter. "Thanks for sticking with me through all that shit." He can't imagine how terrifying it would have been to deal with it by himself, and he knows he hasn't been easy to deal with over the past day.

That hug seems to make Hunter relax a little. He still feels tense and angry that Jim was affected by the curse. But he can at least be reassured that their relationship wasn't broken because of it.

"Of course." Hunter breathes. "I always want to be here, to help you deal with the shit in your life."

"Just like how you have been there for me."

"Sure," Jim says, managing a smile that he doesn't completely feel. "Let's agree never to do this again though."

Hunter smiles, in a similar fashion. It doesn't feel real. Especially since he is already thinking to himself about how Jim is never ever going to get close to Austin again, if he can help it. He would do anything to protect Jim.

"Ready for supper? It should be cool enough now."

"Sure. It smells good." Jim hesitates, before shrugging off the jacket, freeing up his arms a little. There's still a part of him that worries maybe the curse isn't entirely broken, that removing the jacket will somehow bring back the flashbacks even worse than before. But it's an irrational fear and he knows it.

He drapes the jacket across the back of a chair, leaving it nearby. Just in case.

But it's nice to be unrestrained by it again, anyway.

"We get to use forks this time, right?" he adds, trying to add at least a little levity to the situation.

"We do..." Hunter sets out two forks, one for each of them. They won't be able to use the knives until Hermione shows up to disable her spells.

Everything feels... slightly weird, as they eat dinner together. Somehow, it was maybe a little easier to know that Hunter was getting glimpses of Jim's past without them having to talk about it, but now that that's over... all he has are words. And somehow words just don't seem enough.

Doesn't mean they can't try, though.

"I stopped keeping kosher after Tarsus," Jim says, after several minutes of silence. "It just... didn't seem to matter anymore."

"In a way, you are still a little kosher. When you have a choice of what you would like to eat... you voice that preference."

"And I know that somethings you struggle with your desire to make sure no food is wasted. That it is something you can't even explain to your crew. That you worry about how people view you."

It's not really the same thing, but Jim appreciates what Hunter is trying to do.

"Even Bones doesn't really know," he agrees quietly. "He's got my medical records, but that part's classified, and after I... left... I kinda dropped off the radar for a while."

Edited 2017-08-25 13:22 (UTC)

"Well, you have me to talk to now. About anything." Hunter reaches out with one hand to place it on top of one of Jim's.

"You are not alone in this."

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