losthunter | Thorn in the Garden of Life

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Thorn in the Garden of Life

Hunter paced his apartment, his phone in one hand, and a list of phone numbers in his other hand. He just got off the phone with Marcus, one of the six other people who had been given a gift by Kendra. And had learned that Marcus had been attacked by Austin.

Luckily, Marcus was able to get away, without any major side effects.

But Hunter was now worried about the others. And so he was making calls to everyone else who he had talked to, and warned them about Austin so they could stay safe.

And he knew it was time to face Austin again. But even though he felt like it was an emergency, Hunter knew that it would be better to make sure someone else came with him. He also knew exactly who he wanted to have by his side.

Jim. Austin attacked another person. I feel like I need to deal with this. Are you available to come with me?

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Jim's usually a coffee guy, but he's also up for trying new things. "Sounds interesting."

He pours the smoothies, wishing there was something else he could do to help, instead of just being a burden on Hunter. But he doesn't voice that, because he knows Hunter will just insist that he isn't, and then they'll just start the whole cycle of guilt all over again.

So instead, he acts as casually as he can manage. "So, what's the plan for today?"

It is a weird situation right now. And Hunter can't wait for it to end. He doesn't know how to spend the rest of their day, without causing more memories to be triggered. He is slowly running out of ideas.

And he hates how they are getting stuck in that cycle of guilt too.

He raises an eyebrow at how casual Jim is pretending to be. "I have a few books that we could read."

Jim doesn't sit well, when it comes to things that keep him from his normal duties. Taking time off when he has a say in the matter is one thing. Forced downtime is a different beast entirely. He thought he'd had enough of it during his long recuperation from the warp core incident, but now it seems he has to deal with it again.

Reading is one of the few things that let him escape reality for a bit, both then and in previous hospital stays. He can only hope that such escapes will continue to be metaphorical. He smiles faintly back at Hunter. "I think I can handle that. I'm sure you've got something that won't... set me off."

Under normal circumstances, it'd be nice to just spend quiet time with a friend, without any pressures of command waiting for his attention. But he can also tell that Hunter isn't quite buying the everything-is-fine act either. "You holding up okay?"

"Not really." Hunter sets out a couple of dishes for them, with a few slices of breakfast pizza each. They can eat at the counter top.

"I feel like I have all this pent-up anger and hostility. And I can't do anything about it." Mostly because he doesn't want to trigger any memories.

Jim nods in understanding, and in agreement. "I know what you mean..." They've never sparred before, and now that it's come up, he wonders if Hunter even does that sort of thing. But now isn't a good time to find out. Jim's been in more than his fair share of fights over his lifetime, not all of them in a carefully controlled environment or against an opponent that didn't want to hurt him. There's a lot that could go wrong, if he summoned up the wrong memory.

He takes a sip of the smoothie, not really sure what to expect from either flavor or texture. It's enjoyable enough, even though it isn't coffee, but maybe having him handle steaming hot liquids right now isn't the best either. It'll do.

"The whole... fight-or-flight thing isn't helping." Jim's having enough trouble coming back to reality in the middle of some traumatizing shit and no longer having a target to punch or yell at, on his end of things. And to Hunter, he's sure that watching him struggle is just as frustrating, helpless to do anything to stop him from acting like he's lost his mind.

Hunter has also been in his fair share of fights. None of them as intense of what Jim has had to face, based from the memories that he has had so far. But at the very least Hunter knows how to fend for himself.

He just never thought he would need to use those skills against Jim.

"I know... especially since we can't do either." There is no place for them to spar. And Hunter would agree that it is not the best idea right now. And due to Hermione's magic, they can't leave the apartment.

"When the curse is gone... maybe we should hit the boxing ring."

"I'd be down for that." Jim's done a fair amount of boxing, though his martial arts repertoire has expanded a lot since then, incorporating Vulcan moves and a few things he's copied from sessions with Samus. Either way, a structured kind of fight is the best kind, to keep his skills sharp and work out the muscles involved.

He turns his attention to the breakfast pizza. It's unfamiliar, but pretty good, all things considered. Privately, he wonders if Hunter is trying to choose things that Jim probably doesn't have memories associated with, but if he is, that's a damn good idea. Aside from the ration bar incident, he hasn't had a freakout over food yet, and that was less because of specific foodstuffs and more just... regular old trauma response. The same shit he's occasionally had to deal with over the last thirteen years.

"Too bad you don't have a treadmill or two," he comments through a mouthful of pizza. "We could try to run it out."

Edited 2017-08-24 14:54 (UTC)

"No treadmills..." Hunter chuckles lightly. "But I do have a small trampoline. And a weight set. So there are workouts we could do, that might be okay..."

Jim's not sure trampolines are his thing, but weights sound okay. "Worth a shot. Maybe we can finish our paintings later too... things were going okay until... you know." He doesn't want to dredge that up again, so he doesn't get any more specific.

Hunter just nods. He will send the other potion back to Hermione later.

He has this nervous, angry energy after trying to help Jim through the curse. And he definitely needs a way to vent. And he doesn't want to break down, where he is just yelling for the sake of yelling.

"We should only have a few more hours of this thing..." And maybe the counter-curse on the jacket is working the way it should, and the curse will end sooner than what they were told.

They can certainly only hope. Jim frowns a little though, now that they've had the time to calm down and think about it. "How will we know when it's over?"

"I have no idea... maybe if you go a couple of hours without a flashback?"

Jim nods slowly as he considers the dilemma. "Not that I want to provoke anything, but... if we get to that point, we could test it by trying to trigger me on purpose."

Hunter frowns. "That might be an option. I am not going to want to try to trigger you..."

He shrugs. "But I have a general idea of what your triggers would be."

"I'm not really crazy about it either, but it'd be the only foolproof way to know for sure." After the last day, he has no doubt that Hunter knows some of the big landmines in his past, or at least what might set them off.

Hunter reaches out to gently touch Jim's face. "This sounds like one of those no-win situations. I don't like that."

Jim is hesitant to reach back out and reciprocate, mostly out of fear that he might end up in another flashback, but after a moment, he touches Hunter's face in return and leans a little closer in support. "It's not." Though the situation is horrible, it could be a lot worse. "Austin didn't get what he wanted. All we need is time."

Hunter is grateful that this hasn't torn them apart. But he is still scared it will. So having Jim lean in closer is a comfort.

"I know."

"I love you." He whispers, placing a kiss on Jim's forehead.

Jim manages a smile, though it's hard to really mean it at the moment, amidst the frustrations and setbacks that the curse is bringing up in him. Still, he does appreciate what Hunter has done for him.

And maybe it means something that Hunter's words don't prompt any particular memories either, that Jim has rarely heard such things growing up or since then. He's always been better at showing than telling, himself. "Even when I'm acting crazy, huh?"

"I figure you need that love a little more, when you are acting crazy." Hunter teases Jim, just a little.

He might be teasing, but it's also true. "Thanks," Jim says quietly, sincerely.

Hunter finishes his meal, and starts cleaning up the dishes. He knows that the day ahead of them might feel a little longer, even though they should be closer to the end of the curse. And all they can do is try to find things that won't trigger a flashback. Or deal with the flashbacks as they come.

[if you wanted to do a quick flash-forward thread, I think that would be good. Just a general recap of the next couple of hours. And then closer to the end of the day, we can do a slow down again, when the curse has worn off]

The rest of the day has Jim unable to truly relax, with the nightmarish awakening he experienced in the morning. But he puts in the effort, finishing the painting he started yesterday with only a few minor interruptions, flashbacks to watching the stars aboard the Enterprise and an earlier memory of playing tag with Sam and some other kids from Riverside. Trying to read goes a little less smoothly, especially when he accidentally dozes off and has a vicious nightmare about Tarsus IV, waking up in such a panic that it takes Hunter a good ten minutes to calm him down.

But as the day goes on, the flashbacks become less and less frequent, and those that do happen tend to be... not necessarily good, but certainly less traumatizing.

It's not until evening rolls around and he sets the book aside to see what's available for dinner that Jim realizes he hasn't slipped into the past in at least a couple hours.

The minor interruptions were okay enough to handle. But that vicious nightmare had been concerning. Hunter knows that he and Jim have a lot to talk about, regarding Tarsus IV, when the curse is finally gone.

It was a good sign that the flashbacks were occurring less and less frequent. And Hunter too has noticed that Jim hasn't had a flashback for a couple of hours. Which means it is time to test if a memory can be triggered.

Hunter has been trying to think of a way to test Jim, to see if a memory can be triggered, without lying to him. Or being cruel. But it seems to him that the only way to do this is to pull the 'band-aid' off as quickly as possible.

"Dammit..." He stares into his fridge for a moment, his shoulders tense, but his face mostly hidden from Jim (so he can't see that this is a lie).

"Verity left me a casserole a week ago, and it is beyond it's safe-to-cook point. I'm going to have to throw it out."

His concerns about the curse are momentarily forgotten, shoved aside in favor of his more mundane kind of anxiety. Jim is a bit appalled that Hunter, of all people, would let food go to waste. "We should've had it yesterday." He doesn't even know what Hunter considers 'safe,' knowing damn well that his own standards are more flexible than most people of his own century. "There's no saving it?"

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