losthunter: (heavy lays the artist woes)
losthunter ([personal profile] losthunter) wrote2017-08-12 01:16 pm

Thorn in the Garden of Life

Hunter paced his apartment, his phone in one hand, and a list of phone numbers in his other hand. He just got off the phone with Marcus, one of the six other people who had been given a gift by Kendra. And had learned that Marcus had been attacked by Austin.

Luckily, Marcus was able to get away, without any major side effects.

But Hunter was now worried about the others. And so he was making calls to everyone else who he had talked to, and warned them about Austin so they could stay safe.

And he knew it was time to face Austin again. But even though he felt like it was an emergency, Hunter knew that it would be better to make sure someone else came with him. He also knew exactly who he wanted to have by his side.

Jim. Austin attacked another person. I feel like I need to deal with this. Are you available to come with me?
boldygoing: (Wary)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't know if he did it before or after I got the watch on him," Jim adds, uncertain. He sort of remembers feeling a weird tingling when he was putting the watch around Austin's wrist, but he's not sure if it was just his imagination or not. "Might've been at the same time."
boldygoing: (Listening to you)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Jim hasn't realized yet that he's physically acting out the memories. When he was trying to stop Austin, he doesn't know how he got on the floor, assuming that the other man took him down while he was incapacitated. And this last one didn't have him moving too far, not enough that he's put it together.

"Hurt? They're just memories... aren't they?" He can't get hurt by something in his own head, right? No matter how awful they are, they can't injure him, or he'd have to worry about radiation sickness.
boldygoing: (Annoyed)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 08:11 pm (UTC)(link)
"Fuck. Seriously?" Jim doesn't disbelieve them. It just seems like this curse is one awful layer on top of another. And he's disturbed that his memories are being thrown out for all to see, with himself completely unaware. "I can't go home like this."

At the very least, his mother won't understand, and their relationship is rocky enough already without bringing up the final event that led to Jim running away from home, once he'd recovered enough from his ordeal to leave the hospital. He certainly can't teach his classes like this. Or be around Starfleet at all. That'd be a fast track to a psych hold and getting his command revoked.
boldygoing: (Devastated)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
She has a good point. A damn good point. Jim hates going unarmed, but he can easily think of several memories that would be dangerous for any bystanders, and the horrifying thought that he might harm Hunter in the grips of his darkest nightmares is enough to convince him.

He immediately unholsters his phaser and hands it over to Hunter, before bending down to pull his knife from his boot.

He clutches the knife against his chest, a white-knuckled grip around the handle, as he listens to the sound of footsteps, just outside the building. He hadn't thought the colonists who lived here would be back so soon. His makeshift bag, a sweater with the neck tied shut, only carries a few small items he's managed to find - a water bottle, two small pieces of chocolate, a wilted handful of lettuce. Not enough. But there's little else to find, all the real food rationed away to nothing, the tiny hoard under guard at the governor's house. Too dangerous to raid.

He can't risk getting caught. Not now.

Jimmy grabs the sweater and heads for the back door as quietly as possible, but he only makes it halfway there before a hand closes roughly on his shoulder, and he panics, swinging around with the knife, its edge biting into flesh and spraying him with red. The man bellows, falling back and clutching at the gash in his belly, cursing as blood spills over his hand.

He doesn't wait to see what happens next.
Edited 2017-08-16 21:15 (UTC)
boldygoing: (Disbelief)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
The knife falls to the floor as Jim flings it away from himself, as if it was a venomous snake. His hands are shaking even worse than they did after the first flashback, at the realization that he might've nearly just killed someone. "Are you okay?" His voice holds not a small amount of panic, bordering on hysteria. He can't control his own actions, and it is terrifying.

He doesn't dare approach Hunter, afraid that he'll do something else to hurt him, his gaze frantically scanning Hunter's body for injuries.
Edited 2017-08-16 21:37 (UTC)
boldygoing: (Devastated)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-16 10:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Jim is terrified of himself right now, so that's fair. He holds onto Hunter, hands moving a little as he restlessly double checks for injuries. "Point fucking made, holy shit," he manages, in a strangled voice. "I could've killed you."
boldygoing: (Wary)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
"I've got a lot of them, too," Jim says, his voice muffled against Hunter's shoulder. Of all the curses he could've been hit by, this is possibly the worst.

He's still shaken up, but he pulls away, trying once again to recover his composure. He doesn't feel right without the weight of the knife against his ankle, but holy shit, it is not worth the small comfort it brings. At least he has the ration bars on him.
boldygoing: (Memories)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
Jim wants to reassure Hunter that it's fine, that he can get through this okay, but he honestly doesn't know if that's true. There is one thing that he knows, though. "I don't want anyone tampering with my memories. They're shitty and awful, but they're mine. I wouldn't be me without them."

Despite the traumas he's been through, he wouldn't be Jim Kirk without them. Even the other Jim, the one from old Spock's timeline, had to suffer through Tarsus IV. It'd be a comfort that it's something they share, if not for how awful the entire ordeal was.
boldygoing: (At the bar)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
The shower? Really? Jim does suppose that's probably the space where he can do the least harm, but still.

In any case, having all the sharp objects and various other potential weapons locked up is a good idea, no matter how much it reminds him of suicide watch protocols. And he definitely wants as few witnesses as possible. One person is more than enough; he doesn't want to be entirely alone, with only his darkest memories for company, but he also wants to keep his suffering as private as he can.

It helps a little that Hunter already knows that Jim was on Tarsus. He may not know what it means, not fully, but Jim won't need to reveal anything classified. The important part of the secret is that Jim was there in the first place.

Either way, he returns to the kitchen area to get a proper glass of water this time, both because of the aftereffects of the flashbacks, and because he needs something to do with his hands. Something not involving a knife.
boldygoing: (Wary)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
It's been a while since Jim has really thought about how great it is to have unlimited clean water on demand. He fills the glass to the brim, before turning back to face Hunter again. "Me too. It's not your fault though."

If Jim doesn't get to blame himself, Hunter doesn't either.
boldygoing: (At the bar)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't know..." Jim takes a drink from his glass, still kind of freaked out and nervous. "I feel like I owe you an explanation."
boldygoing: (Beard: Somber)

[personal profile] boldygoing 2017-08-17 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
"Maybe not. It's a long story." It's not even a story that Jim wants to tell, mostly because he doesn't want to think about it. But he doesn't have a choice about that, anymore, and he did try to kill Hunter.

But Hunter does have a point. With as often as he's already triggered flashbacks, it seems unlikely at best that he'll be able to get through it uninterrupted.

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